I am addictaded how do i stop eating?

Im huge, 379 pounds and 16.. my dad died of cancer a when i was 8, i have always been a stressed fat gay guy. i am ADDICTADED to food i mean if i try to stop i vomit,and think suicidel thoughts, i take deppresion pills also adictively, biopoler pills ad my diabetas medication... i know food is killing me but i cannot stop shoveing my face with it! i love the taste and smell EVERYTHING, my mom is fileing bank rupcy so we dont have much money my older bro is a drunk druggie and im a obease white kid whith NO freinds.. i get made a fun of a lot for being gay and obease, i hate exirsise and love sleep, im a jew so i cant go to a church and i cannot afford a theropist, im stupid as hell and cut myself if i dont eat the foods i like, my mom dosent give a **** about me and she told me that! i need some help on not being so addictad to food- hate taste of healthy ive tried to force myself to eat it and i through up - yes i know im picky...