Am I being too demanding or...(need insight into a man's - and women's, why not -mind)?

You need to talk this over with your man and try to work this out. If he will not work with you on this, you need to step back and rethink what it is that you want from a relationship and then go from there. A person may be the best person you know, but that does not meant that that person is the right person for you. Be honest with yourself on what it is that you want from life and find someone who you can attain that with.